|Eric the Actor|
March 11, 1975
September 20, 2014
September 19, 2002
Eric Shaun Lynch or Eric the Actor, also known as Eric the Midget, Eric the Bastard, Eric the Complaining Midget, Eric the Completely Unfunny Midget, Eric the Defensive Midget, Eric the Gay Midget, Eric the Dumb-Ass Midget, Eric the Major Cock, Eric the Loudmouth Midget, Eric the Obnoxious Midget, Eric the Pathetic Midget, Eric the Retarded Midget, Eric the Ridiculous Midget, Eric the Rude, Obnoxious, and Annoying Midget, Eric the Screwed-Up Midget, Eric the Stupid Bitch, Eric the Chicken-Shit Midget, Eric the Lame-Ass Midget, Eric the Shithead, Eric the Sack of Shit, Eric the Worthless Sack of Shit, Eric the Loser, Eric the Disrespectful Piece of Crap, Eric the Gay Actor, Eric the Ack Acktor, Eric the Shitcock, Eric the Shitty Penis, Eric the Buttfucker, Eric the Shitty Songwriter, Eric the Shitty Actor or Eric the Idol Expert is a member of the Wack Pack. Eric is 3 ft 0 in tall, weighs 85 lb, and uses a motorized wheelerchair in addition to various other afflictions. Despite his poor health he claims to have outlived every doctor's prediction for his life expectancy. He is an avid fan of MLB, Wrestling, Coca-Cola, Cinnabon, Ore-Ida potatoes, large breasts, and The Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Eric past away due to health complications on September 20th 2014.
During the show, Eric was most known for:
- Having an unhealthy and obsession with American Idol, specifically Kelly Clarkson
- Calling into the Howard Stern show literally every single day to say absolutely nothing
- Despising his official title as Eric the Midget
- Hiring Johnny Frotto as his hit man
- Force his unusual, irrational, unethical, and / or impossible demands onto others
- Being generally unfaithful to the show and flaky on his promises, specifically with regards to his promise of flying with balloons
- Ban himself from the show, call in the show literally the next day, then deny that he's on the show
- Calling in as Derek From Texas when Howard temporarily banned Eric from the show.
- Claiming he's an actor, but turning down several roles offered to him
- Killing shows
- Breaking up with his first and only girlfriend, Kendra, on air
- Not knowing what 9 times 7 is
- Banging Tabitha Stevens
Quotes By Eric:Edit
“Bye for now” - Eric’s closing after every call
"You know what to do." - Eric ordering Johnny Fratto to "deal" with a problematic caller (this is referring to a guy that Eric went to school with (Jerry) and claimed that Eric ruined the school by requiring ramps be installed, not a "problematic caller")
"I'm club-fucking-footed ya' asswipe!" - Eric refering to his club foot.
"Shut up!" - Eric's response when Howard talks over him.
"Bye for now big nosed bastard." - Eric before he angrily hangs up on Howard.
"Hey fucking idiot, stop talking over me!" - Another response as Eric is interrupted.
"I'm sick of you hitting those sound buttons you bastard!" - Eric vocalizing his displeasure of Fred's drops.
"I am getting So. Damn. Sick. of being Left. On. Hold." Eric passive-aggressively giving Howard his personal feedback of placing Eric on hold for hours.
"Fred, you push that button one more time and I'll fly over there to New York and BREAK OFF YOUR FINGER!!!" - Eric's threat to Fred after Fred kept playing "zero point zero" clip.
"I don't fucking make that 'ack ack' sound!" - Eric's response to a caller on his American Idol commentary show.
Quotes About Eric:Edit
"The guy is about as big as a Butterball Turkey." - Howard speculating on Eric's small size.
"You know, I've been nothing but nice to this little pecker-head and all he does is torture me." - Howard speculating Eric's ungrateful attitude.