Eric Shaun Lynch or Eric the Actor, also known as Eric the Midget, Eric the Astronaut, Eric the Bastard, Eric the Complaining Midget, Eric the Completely Unfunny Midget, Eric the Defensive Midget, Eric the Gay Midget, Eric the Dumb-Ass Midget, Eric the Major Cock, Eric the Loudmouth Midget, Eric the Obnoxious Midget, Eric the Pathetic Midget, Eric the Retarded Midget, Eric the Ridiculous Midget, Eric the Rude, Obnoxious, and Annoying Midget, Eric the Screwed-Up Midget, Eric the Stupid Bitch, Eric the Chicken-Shit Midget, Eric the Lame-Ass Midget, Eric the Shithead, Eric the Sack of Shit, Eric the Worthless Sack of Shit, Eric the Loser, Eric the Disrespectful Piece of Crap, Eric the Gay Actor, Eric the Ack Acktor, Eric the Shitcock, Eric the Shitty Penis, Eric the Buttfucker, Eric the Shitty Songwriter, Eric the Shitty Actor, Eric the Idol Expert, Eric the Actor formerly known as Eric the Midget, and his last attributed name: Eric the Angel was a member of the Wack Pack.
Eric was 3ft 6in tall, weighed 85lbs and used a motorized wheelchair. Eric's small size is reason enough to grant him the title of "midget", but he also suffered additional afflictions such Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Despite his poor health, he claims to have outlived every doctor's prediction for his life expectancy. He is an avid fan of MLB, Wrestling, Pepsi, Cinnabon, Ore-Ida potatoes, large breasts, and The Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Eric passed away due to health complications on September 20, 2014, the same day that his caretaker Jon was scheduled to leave him and move out to go perform the same caretaker service for Jon's parents.
Eric's only studio appearance.
During the show, Eric was most known for:
- Having an unhealthy obsession with American Idol, specifically Kelly Clarkson
- Calling into the Howard Stern Show literally every single day to say absolutely nothing
- Despising his official title of "Eric the Midget"
- Calling for Johnny Frotto to put a hit out on "Jerry" (March 18, 2008)
- Forcing his unusual, irrational, unethical, and / or impossible demands onto others
- Being generally unfaithful to the show and flaky on his promises, specifically with regards to his promise of flying with balloons
- Banning himself from the show, calling in to the show the next day, then denying that he's on the show
- Calling in as Derek from Texas when Howard temporarily banned Eric from the show (June 12, 2013)
- Claiming he's an actor, but turning down most roles offered to him
- Killing shows
- Breaking up with his first and only girlfriend, Kendra, on air (February 25, 2008)
- Not knowing his 9x table
A young ETA standing up and dressed up for Halloween.
Quotes[]
Quotes By Eric:[]
"Bye for now." - Eric’s closing after (nearly) every call
"You know what to do." - Eric ordering Johnny Fratto to "deal" with a problematic caller (this is referring to a guy that Eric went to school with (Jerry) and claimed that Eric ruined the school by requiring ramps be installed, not a "problematic caller"). (March 18, 2008)
"I'm club-fucking-footed ya' asswipe!" - Eric refering to his club foot. (March 2, 2009)
"Shut up!" - Eric's response when Howard talks over him. (August 18, 2008)
"Bye for now, you big nosed bastard." - Eric before he angrily hangs up at the end of a voice mail message. (November 1, 2005)
"Hey fucking idiot, stop talking over me!" - Another response as Eric is interrupted.
"I'm sick of you hitting those sound buttons you bastard!" - Eric vocalizing his displeasure of Fred's drops.
"I am getting So. Damn. Sick. of being Left. On. Hold." Eric passive-aggressively giving Howard his personal feedback of placing Eric on hold for hours.
"Fred, you push that button one more time and I'll fly over there to New York and BREAK ALL YOUR FINGERS!!!" - Eric's threat to Fred after Fred kept playing "zero point zero" clip. (June 26, 2008)
"I don't fucking make that 'ack ack' sound!" - Eric's response to a caller on his American Idol commentary show.
Quotes About Eric:[]
"The guy is about as big as a Butterball Turkey." - Howard speculating on Eric's small size.
"You know, I've been nothing but nice to this little peckerhead and all he does is torture me." - Howard speculating Eric's ungrateful attitude.
"Nobody likes you." - Artie Lange commenting on Eric’s popularity.
"Guys' sacks." - Artie Lange guessing what is filling up Eric's wall space and leaving him without room for his American Idol tour poster. (November 19, 2002)
"Okay, Eric, here's the deal. You wanna come to Bound for Glory? You got it. I'll fly you first class if I have to. I'm gonna get you a ticket to the show. A good ticket. Not a cheap ticket, a good ticket. And if you want, possibly even get to live your dream and become a professional wrestling manager. That's what you wanted to do your entire pathetic life, isn't it? To be a professional wrestling manager? Well, this might be your opportunity, Eric. But alls you have to do is get to Bound for Glory. But here's the deal. When the show is over, I'm gonna do something that I've always wanted to do to you. And that's kick your ass and shut you up once and for all. And when I'm through kicking your ass I'm going to get a bunch of balloons and I'm gonna tie them around your pathetic little body. Then I'm gonna proceed to drop kick you into the California sky and personally watch you float back to Sacramento to your disgusting apartment and your disgusting bed to do whatever pathetic, disgusting things you do there. That's the deal, Eric. Take it or leave it." - Wrestler Bobby Roode inviting Eric to the TNA Bound for Glory event. (August 20, 2013)